Black Waters(Reasons)
by The Black Sacrament
Summary: "Her hair flowed like a black river I once swam in as a child. It twisted and turned like her curls. I remember the artificial sand on the banks of it. It grew darker under my wet feet. It was the color of her skin, but I know if I grasped her she wouldn't fall through my fingers." Femslash. Bella/OC.
1. Shaky

**Almost everything in _italics_ is a thought. Just getting that out there. I hope you all like the story. It's one of my favorites so far. Review! And enjoy;)**

 _I was_ _shaky_ _when I first saw her._

She walked in lithely. Full of confidence and energy. She looked like an archangel in a leather studded jacket. Her jeans were ripped like she had gotten into a fight with a mountain lion. Black boots hitting the ground with an audible click each step she took.

Her hair flowed like a black river I once swam in as a child. It twisted and turned like her curls. I remember the artificial sand on the banks of it. It grew darker under my wet feet. It was the color of her skin, but I know if I grasped her she wouldn't fall through my fingers.

I barely noticed the rest of her family walking in but I knew they looked nothing like her. She was like a chocolate colored beacon of hope. I thought I was drowning in everything that was Ashtan Hale. My lungs burned and heaved. I thought I was done fighting.

And then Edward walked in.

 _I saw land._

She sat beside me in fourth period.

She'd tap her pencil on her notepad to a beat only she could hear. Her black eyes flicking over what she had written. I clenched my fists as she bit her lip. That was a habit of hers.

(She had a lot of habits.)

They were the most appealing lips I had ever seen. Juicy and red like strawberries.

I could feel myself falling under her black waters again.

I remember the first time she spoke to me. Her voice was like the waters of the Nile. It flowed seamlessly. "Hey Bella, do you have a pen that I can borrow," she said quietly. We were in class but I felt like we were alone. Surrounded by trees with our feet in the sand. The way her mouth wrapped around my name made my body heat up.

My face flushed and I nodded a little too frantically. I fumbled around in my book bag until I found one. It was my favorite. I never used it because it costed so much. It was for writing something important. I never had anything to write with it. I didn't even use it to write about Edward.

"Here you go," I croaked. My throat felt dry suddenly. She beamed at me and I blushed again. Her teeth were like porcelain. They were like fine china.

As she grabbed the pencil our fingers brushed against one another. It felt like slow motion. Sparks ran all the way up my arm and man her skin was so **_hot_**. I jerked back and regretted it immediately.

Her eyes seemed to widen just a little. I knew she felt it too. I silently wondered if that would happen every time. _**I wanted to find out.**_

 _She can keep that pen forever._

She was so unlike the rest of the Cullens. I knew something was up with the rest of them but with her I could not tell to save my life. I spent most of my time around her at school trying to figure it out.

At lunch, I would sneak glances at their table taking notes in my head. Where her family had golden eyes, hers were black. Not just dark brown, they were as black as onyx. They were like Edward's when they changed.

Where they were pale, she was like glazed honey. That had to do with ethnicity but I knew that if she was like them her skin would look somewhat unnatural.

She looked perfect to me.

Where they were unnaturally beautiful, she was just very attractive. She didn't look like a goddess but that didn't take away from her allure. Just being around her drew me in. It took everything not to reach out and touch her skin. It glowed like the **Sun.**

She ate a lunch. I never once saw the others eat anything. She would pack her tray full of food and even steal from theirs. I never saw her eat anything but meat. And lots of it. Where did it all go? She liked to were revealing clothing to my chagrin. She was sculpted by the Gods themselves.

When Edward confirmed that they were vampires I was still not satisfied. I wanted to know what she was. I just knew she was unique.

"Is Ashtan a vampire too," I asked with some hesitation. He looked a little bit frustrated.

"You'll have to talk to her about that."

I gritted my teeth. I hate surprises more than anything else.

The first time I visited Edward's house I was _shaky_.

I was not afraid in the slightest but I was anticipating what to say to her. I needed to find out.

There she sat on the kitchen counter with Rosalie between her legs. She seemed to be braiding her hair and unbraiding it without even looking down. She smiled big when we walked in. "Hey Bella, we're cookin' for you," she said excitedly. I couldn't help but smile in return. She was so inviting. I didn't notice Edward tensing up beside me.

One day in class I had had enough. I needed to know right now. She sat beside me nodding her head to music that I couldn't hear. I took a moment to admire her. She was so different from everyone else I had met in Forks.

She reminded of Phoenix and everything I had left behind. She reminded me how much I missed the Sun but her presence was just like it. Warming up everything that came near.

Her family orbited her like planets. Even Rosalie smiled around her for goodness sake.

I noticed how they seemed alive around her. Human.

"Are you gonna keep staring at me or are you gonna ask," she whispered, snapping me out of my daze.

I could hear laughter behind her words.

I blushed violently. She elicited anxiety in me like no other. "What are you?"

Her eyes closed and she shook her head with a smile.

When they opened she looked me in the eyes.

 ** _Black water_**.

"Werewolf. Full moons and all that jazz," her voice sounded a little sad. She didn't want this either it seemed. I frowned deeply. I wondered how this happened but I didn't want to ask.

She must have understood the expression because she went on.

"My mother was one too. It ran in our bloodline. Vampires killed her but not before she gave me to Carlisle. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here," she said, looking down at her hands. Old pain marred her beautiful features. I suddenly felt a surge of courage.

I reached my hand out and took hers in mine.

 _Electricity._

"I'm sorry," I whispered. And I was. I could never imagine wanting to harm such an amazing person. She gazed into my eyes with an unreadable expression. Her lips twitching into a smile. She squeezed my hand lightly.

It was so warm and smooth. Like that river.

I could feel myself drowning again. I didn't have any reason to struggle.

It felt like falling asleep.

 _There would be no land this time._


	2. Demons

**Another one for your headtop;) I hope you like my oc. I dont want her to be all powerful. I want her to have flaws. Enjoy:)**

 _When the James threat came she was not afraid._

Her body was relaxed unlike the rest of her family. She stood between the two with her arms crossed over her chest. One foot behind her digging into the ground. Her body launguage was casual but it screamed danger.

While my heart beat fast and my body shook she just leveled them with a glare. I'd never seen her so..annoyed.

"Look, we were in the middle of my favorite game. This is a family thing. If you don't want all of us to rip your heads from your bodies then I suggest you take your leave," she growled. Her teeth bared in a wolfish grin.

She had long canines. They glistened threateningly as she ran her tongue over them.

 _My breaths came short._

"Oh, and stop hunting in Forks or your lives are forfeit."

The three nomads looked like someone had poured ice water down their backs.

"We will be on our way," Laurent said hesitantly.

James narrowed his eyes at her before turning around. Victoria smirked and followed her mate. Laurent gave his apologies and disappeared into thin air.

Everyone sighed when they were finally gone.

"We have to go. He wants to hunt Bella and kill you," Edward hissed. Ashtan just shook her head and laughed.

"Eddie, there are eight of us. Four of us with gifts. We could destroy them easily," she said, redoing her bun. Four?

Emmett boomed a laugh.

"Ash is right bro. Those odds are slim to none." Edward growled. He grabbed my hand and tried pulling me along towards the vehicles. His grip was painfully tight making me hiss. She was in front of him in seconds, eyes black as coal. There was no white in sight. It was deadly but **hot**.

"Let her go." Her voice was the darkest I had ever heard it. It should have scared me but it made me feel safe.

"We are finishing our game and Bella is staying with us. Where she is safe." Edward looked ready to protest.

"Son, your sister is right. Staying together is best. If it comes to a fight we will take care of them," Carlisle said soothingly. Edward let me go and glared at his sister. Her eyes flashed back and she grinned at him. She walked over to Rosalie who looked more annoyed than usual. She slung her arm over the blonde's shoulder and she smiled like nothing had happened.

"Stop being such a baby, Edward," Rosalie said sneering. They laughed heartily while he brooded.

 _She was deadly and kind simultanesously._

James was not finished with me to say the least. The family took turns watching over me which upset me. I felt like a burden to them. They could be doing anything else but instead they had to babysit. I always looked forward to Ashtan and Alice's shift the most. They were my best friends. Edward just made me feel down. Always talking about how they should have taken me away to Arizona so they couldn't find me. Even though he himself said that James was a gifted tracker. I couldn't see myself giving him that _chance_ he wanted so badly.

We were not compatible.

"Hey, Bella!" I almost fell off my bed.

Alice was bouncing on her heels at the edge of my bed. She grinned like the Cheshire Cat.

Ashtan was just lounging on my window sill with a half finished cigarette in her mouth.

My brows furrowed. A werewolf smoking a cigarette? Alice giggled at my expression.

"She has bad anxiety. They don't damage her anyway," she answered casually.

"What could possibly give a supernatural being anxiety?" My voice was skeptical.

I had anxiety but it didn't require cigarettes. Mostly because I was 17. I don't know if I would smoke them if I was old enough. I mean with this situation I could probably smoke a pack a day.

"A lot of things have happened in my life. My mind just races sometimes. Thinking about everything that could go wrong. Everyone has demons. Even the demons themselves," she said somberly.

I watched as she inhaled the smoke and then blew it out to inhale it through her nose. It was hynotizing. The way her fingers held the cigarette so carefully. The way her eyelids dipped low as she let all the smoke out. It smelled like menthol. She seemed like a menthol person. The way she _burned_.

"What do you want to do tonight, Bella," Alice squealed, hopping onto my bed. I blushed heavily. I had been staring for while and I knew Alice noticed.

"Um, we can watch movies or trade stories?" I wanted to know about them. The things they had experienced.

Especially _her._

Ashtan chuckled as she flicked her cigarette bud out the window.

"I'm down for stories. I wanna know what kinda trouble our Bella Bear has gotten into." Alice rolled her eyes and we began.

"-So I kicked him in the balls and ran back to my mom," I said as they clutched their stomachs in laughter. This was the most fun I'd had since being here. We were just talking and being friends. No foreboding threats on our minds. No supernatural talk. They could have been just to normal friends having a sleep over with me.

"Bella, I never knew you were so badass. We gotta get you to stop acting so shy," Ashtan managed to get out through laughs. I felt so warm inside. I had made her laugh. It was a beautiful sound. And so genuine. It sounded like she couldn't control it. Seeing her so human took away the shakiness that I had felt since I seen her on that first day.

She is not perfect and she has demons. She is just like me.

"I know. I never used to be so shy. Being in a new town is very awkward," I said sincerely. This place was so different from Phoenix.

"I hope we're helping you get comfortable," Alice said pouting. I burst into giggles. She was so cute.

Suddenly, her eyes glazed over and I looked at Ashtan not knowing what to do. She reached over and grabbed her sister's hand. She looked anxious. Her other hand tapped her leg. I think she needed a cigarette.

When Alice came back she was at the window before I could ask what was wrong.

Ashtan followed as well.

"They will be in Edward's meadow in 5 minutes. They will have a human. You go and I will call Carlisle," Alice fired off. I went to tell her to be careful but she was gone. Ashtan was already out the window running toward the unknown. My chest constricted painfully and I was _shaky_ again. So many thoughts were running though my head. Images of her being bitten or being torn to pieces. I clutched my chest in agony.

"Carlisle, the nomads have a human-" Alice's voice faded away. As my eyes wandered to where she sat on my bed, I was met with a pack of cigarettes. The fact that she had left them irked a nerve in me.

I lit one in her stead. It **burned**.

I had waited and waited in my bed as much as I could and now I was pacing. Alice was fidgeting on the window sill. Every now and again she would freeze, and let one of her visions play out. I stared at her as she had a particularly long one. Once she came back she beamed. I felt pressure building up inside ready to explode. I wanted scream at her and demand to know where _she_ was. If she was okay. She took mercy on me finally.

"Ashtan is on her way back. You no longer have to deal with those three but you may have to deal with her being angry about you stealing a cigarette." She said ominously. I froze, taking in what she had said. She would be angry at me? I don't think that's how she is. What if..

"I'm just joking, Bella," she laughed hysterically. I sighed heavily. God, I was terrified.

"Were you scaring Bella, Alice? Not nice. She could have had a stroke." _Water_.

I was afraid to look at her. I didn't want to see her hurt. Or even scratched up. I didn't know if my frail heart could handle it.

Hands as hot as the Sun cradle my face.

"Alice, you can go to your mate. I'll stay here with Bella," she said quietly. There was a breeze and suddenly I knew we were alone. I expected anxiety and nervousness.

 _It never came._

I slowly lifted my eyes to hers and she smiled.

 _Waves_.

"I'm not harmed. I've been in a few battles as you know. Three vampires aren't going to kill. Especially not with my family around." She said matter of factly. My eyes watered a little in relief. I suddenly felt very tired.

She frowned a little and looked at her watch.

"It's 2 a.m. Let's get you to bed."

As I laid down she leaned out the window staring out at the trees. A cigarette pressed to her lips. She sighed heavily and smoke billowed into the air taking away her fears.

"I wasn't even afraid," she whispered to herself. I heard her loud and clear. I didn't know what to think about that.

As she finished her cigarette she stood awkwardly. It seemed she didn't know whether to leave or stay. I smiled a little.

 _So human._

"Will you stay with me?" My voice was small when it met my ears. She grinned a bit.

"Are you trying to get me into bed with you," she purred. I blushed violently before catching myself.

"Maybe," I said back as confidently as I could. Her brows shot up and she coughed into her hand. I patted the spot beside me expectantly. She rolled her eyes and pulled her silver tipped biker boots off quickly.

As her jacket hit the ground I felt a wave of heat roll up my body.

Once under the covers she sighed and layed an arm over her eyes. It wasn't awkward but I felt the overwhelming urge to let my hands creep over her skin. I wanted to feel her strong arms around me, holding me tight and pulling me underneath her waves.

"I was afraid for you," I whisper. I barely heard my own voice. I knew she heard me loud and clear.

The next thing I knew I was splayed across her chest. Her warmth seeped into my skin and lit me aflame. I felt like I was floating.

Her arms wrapped around like the rays of the Sun. Like a whirlpool in the middle of a river.

"I know, Bella. I know."

 _And I'm going under._


	3. Blue

**I got the sudden urge to write another chapter of this story at like 9 p.m. while smoking a cigarette and listening to my favorite song. I hope you like it. Enjoy;)**

 _She made my mind reel._

Ashtan always wore black no matter what occasion it was. She said everyday was a funeral for somebody and it's only right to dress for the occasion. I thought on what she said for an entire night.

Almost everything she said made me think. I longed to be that type of person but the words never came to me. Though this may be the case about most things it was never that way about Ashtan. I could go on for days describing the smallest things about her like they were the most interesting topics of discussion. I got the idea that there was a deeper reason behind this. This feeling of everything she did having importance. Even a sigh could mean something different when it came to her. In my mind Ashtan Hale was a never ending puzzle.

I like a challenge.

"So black is your favorite color then," I say out of nowhere. We hadn't been talking about this but it had been on my mind for a while. We were in her favorite place. It just so happened to be the beach in La Push. Though I compared her to bodies of water I didn't expect that she loved it just as much. I felt triumphant.

Her brows shot up and she looked like she wanted to laugh. I almost blushed at my ridiculous need to have answers for everything.

"No, Ms. Private Investigator. My favorite color is blue," she said with a grin splitting her face. My expression turned sour. All of my assumptions were all off. This would not do.

Her body shook with silent laughter at my face and her fingers dug into the sand like she needed an anchor. I seethed.

"Oh Bella, it's alright. It's only right to assume that because I wear black that it could be my favorite color. You're not all wrong. It's one of my favorites but blue will forever and always be the best," she elaborated. I was still confused. Doesn't everyone try to wear they're favorite color?

"Why haven't I ever seen you wear it?" I stare at her face to try and catch any hidden meaning that I might miss as she becomes thoughtful. Her lips purse in contemplation. There's a crease between her eyebrows that I've noticed there before. She's thinking back to a different time, I surmise.

"I believe blue is the warmest color," she said quietly. Her eyes became distant as she stared at the waves coming in and out. Her fingertips brush over the stubble on the back of her head. I contemplate her words carefully but I don't understand. I always thought red was the warmest color. Blue is the representation of sadness and everything cold.

Ashtan turns to me and notices my confusion. Her lips twitch slightly before she turns back to the water. She is not looking at it.

"In another place and another time..I met a girl. Her eyes were so _blue._ I had never seen anything like it. We got closer and closer. In the end Carlisle, Edward, and I had to move away," she said quietly. Her voice was almost lost to the wind but I heard her somehow.

My heart clenched in a way I had never felt before. I looked away.

"You loved her." It took all of me just to utter the words. This surprised me at the time.

"Yes. Every time she touched me I burned hot like a blue flame. Everything about her was blue. When I left it became even more applicable. I'll never forget that feeling even though it is long gone. She lived a long life but she eventually died back in 1981. I even went to her funeral. She lives in my memories now." Ashtan looked lighter now. She looked happier now that she had told me. It must have been eating away at her for some time. But I don't dare to ask her name. It would just make her all the more real. I did not need that.

Despite this I was happy that she could talk to me.

 _But why did it sting?_

Hearing her talk about someone else made my stomach churn but it intrigued me at the same time. I wanted to know about the loves she had lost. _As long as they stayed lost._

I wanted to know about everything she loved. Even if it was double stuffed Oreos or bubble baths by candlelight.

 _I wanted to be one of those things._

As she got up to run to the water I just watched in awe. She laughed and spun in circles in it. Her hands rise into the air like she is trying to grasp the Sun in her strong hands. I know it would give itself to her willingly. I would too.

She notices me still sitting on our towels and yells at me to get in. I shake my head smiling. She frowns and then smiles big. I could see her teeth glinting in the sunlight from where I sat.

When she pretends to drown under the water I just roll my eyes with a smile threatening to split my face.

I save her from drowning and she calls me her Savior. The irony is heavy in the air.

She kisses my cheek and it **burns**. Forever seared in my memory like a branding iron.

My mind takes me back to menthol cigarettes and warm hands. The clicking of her boots against tiled floors. Strawberry lips between porcelain teeth.

 _It takes all of me to stay above the water._


	4. Like the Wind

**Another chapter. Review! I hope you enjoy;)**

 _ **"Come out and haunt me**_

 _ **I know you want me"**_

 _ **-Cigarettes After Sex**_

 _She moved like the wind._

Ashtan Hale walked like she was floating. Confidence exuded from her body language and filled her steps. When she walked into the lunch room I would take note on the reactions she got. The noisy lunchroom quieted a fraction until she made it to her seat. Even Jessica shut up just to watch.

She never seemed to notice at all.

Anyone watching her would surmise that she was an "arrogant dyke", as Jessica and Lauren so eloquently put it on my first day at Forks High. As I got to know her better I knew this was not the case. Despite the fact that she was unique and confident, she was down to earth and had insecurities like everyone else. I could not for the life of me understand where any flaw was. Trust me I had searched and searched but I could not find it.

At school, I began sitting with the Cullens. Ashtan would pick me up in her huge truck and take me to school every morning. Edward didn't like that he was being replaced but she said she had handled it. From the look in her eye I presumed they had had a particularly bad argument. And she won.

We would walk in together chatting away about random topics. She loved to argue about existential things. Like alternate universes and the existence of aliens. Why she chose to do this early in the morning I will never know but it was cute to see her so adamant about something. Even if it was "sexy blue alien chicks".

Every eye turned as we walked in. I figured it was because of her but she quickly disagreed.

"They're confused," she said with a chuckle. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. She always confused me.

"What do you mean," I asked as we turned the corner. Eyes followed us the whole way.

She ran a hand up the front of her hair catching invisible fly aways and sighed heavily.

"I never talk to anyone but my family. They think I'm just an emo dyke," she said with a frown. As we came to my locker I grabbed her hand. We had gotten closer with physical contact. She said previously that she didn't like being touched by anyone that wasn't family but with me it was fine. At the time butterflies appeared in my stomach.

"You care what these teenage humans say." My voice was incredulous. I couldn't believe she actually gave a fuck (excuse my language) what these kids thought. My eyes widened slightly in realization. This was her insecurity.

She ducked her head in shame and I ran my thumb across the back of her hand.

"It's alright, Ash. Just know that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you. You aren't obligated to talk to anyone if you don't want to. Personally, I think you are the most interesting person I've ever met," I said quietly. Her eyes lit up like Christmas lights. She smiled tentatively and pulled me into a brief hug. My breath caught in my chest as her warmth seared me again. This time straight to my heart.

I never saw myself with a woman but with her I couldn't see myself being with anyone else. This realization scared the hell out of me. All of the things that could go wrong went through my head so fast.

I needed a cigarette.

 _She loved her family._

When I was at the Cullen's house, I watched her interact with her family. She loved her family, that much was obvious. She had certain bonding activities with all of them. Something told me that her being the oldest of the children had something to do with that.

It was endearing to see. It made the crush I had worse and worse.

With Alice, she would dress up and do a fashion show, strutting through the house in whatever Alice wanted to see. It was hilarious to see her in dresses and six inch heels.

With Jasper, she would debate the merits of war and talk about historic events she had witnessed or play chess. In these times it astonished me that someone who seemed so young had loved so long. When I learned that she was 326 years old I nearly fainted.

When Edward finally got over his misguided feelings toward his sister they went back to being best friends. Edward would play the piano and she would sing. Her voice was like the sounds of sirens calling me to sea. Everyone in the house would sit in the living to hear their serenades. She'd sit cross legged on top of his piano with her eyes closed and belt notes that I never thought possible. My heart heart would pound and it would take all my power not to move towards her. Every time she finished we would applaud them riotously and she would duck her head and blush violently. No matter how many times Carlisle tried to tell her that it was her second gift she would wave it off. Always so humble and kind.

Ashtan and Rosalie were the most close by far though I didn't understand why. They were complete opposites in every sense of the word. While Ashtan was sweet and kind, Rosalie had a rough exterior. But they brought out certain aspects in each other that I didn't see ever happening. Rose would smile and laugh like I had never seen and Ashtan would curse like a sailor. She cursed, yes, but with Rosalie it was like an inside joke to see who could fill their sentences with the most filthy language. They acted like an old married couple sometimes. Arguing about the smallest things and then bursting out laughing. They would somehow always manage to get a hug in or some other kind of physical contact. It made me more than a little jealous even though I didn't notice we were the same way. In my mind it seemed like they had once been not so sisterly. It could have been my imagination but I put the thought away and decided to bring it up later.

On Sundays, they would work on their project together. It was an old 67 Shelby Mustang that they bought from an auction in Seattle. I would sit in a chair in the corner or hand them tools as they cursed and fumbled with things I couldn't see.

"Hand me the fuckin' monkey wrench, Bella," Ashtan said in a particularly good redneck accent. I burst out laughing as I failed to find it. I couldn't see through the tears. Rosalie made a spitting noise like she was chewing tobacco.

"Naw hand it ta meh. I reckon I need it more than this rookie," she said in a deep voice. Her failed attempt at a country accent made the laughter worse and soon they joined in.

Even though Rosalie hated me at first, as I came around more with Ashtan she lightened up. Especially when she noticed that I didn't want Edward. That confused me but I never asked why. The closer her sister and I got, the less scowls I received. Eventually, I received smiles instead.

Emmett and Ashtan would wrestle in the backyard on Saturdays. When I learned of this I had to watch. I wanted to see how deadly she really was in person. I would watch as her eyes turned that inky black color and her teeth sharpened. At first I was afraid because Emmett was so much bigger but she proved my fears wrong.

He charged her at full force and she just stood there grinning. At the last second she flitted to the side and clothes lined him to the ground. He got back up quickly and grabbed her by the throat. My heart skipped a beat and I tensed. Alice just giggled beside me.

He went to choke slam her and as soon as she hit the ground she kicked him with all her force. I watched in awe as he flew into a tree, knocking it over. As she dusted herself off casually, Emmett came flying out of the trees at her. She smirked devilishly and let her long canines peak out. He raised his arm getting ready to punch her but then he fell to the ground fighting an invisible force.

My face contorted into confusion. I didn't understand what was going on. Emmett looked terrified.

"Ashtan, let him go. You can't use powers," Rosalie said experatedly and Ashtan started into arguing with her. My eyes widened. She had a power? What was it?

Alice noticed my confusion and decided to let me in on the secret.

"She can make people experience their worst nightmares. She doesn't use it a lot because it's a double edged sword. She sees what they see and it haunts her dreams," she said quietly. My heart broke for her. I couldn't imagine what that was like. Experiencing horrible dreams that aren't yours. I wondered if she knew mine.

"I thought only vampires had gifts," I whispered. Ashtan scoffed and pouted at me and I laughed. She went back to arguing with Rose. Alice rolled her eyes at us and elaborated.

"Carlisle did too but it seems that because she was born a werewolf her gifts strengthened over time," she said thoughtfully. I nodded thinking it over. I wondered what had caused her to develop such a horrific gift.

"Whatever Rose, he was going to punch me. There's a no punching rule," she laughed. Emmet got up looking haunted and then boomed with laughter. He was such a lighthearted guy.

At night, I would think of her in bed. All of the contradictions that culminated into being Ashtan Hale ran through my mind. With every thought my heart warmed further. I was getting in too deep. She was haunting my thoughts with every passing day and it left me breathless and drowning in this crush. Every now and again I would get a faint whiff of menthol and mint. Her scent was imprinted into my mind like a tattoo.

Something pulled in my chest each night. Without much thought I knew it would take me to her. These days everything came full circle back to her. The thought of her leaving or being with someone else would cross my mind while I lay in bed every night, almost religiously. Each time I wanted to get on my knees and pray that I would never see the day. The thought of her smiling and kissing someone. The thought of those strawberry lips caught between the teeth of a nameless girl. The thought of seeing her even holding someone else.

 _I would rather go blind._

It brought on a realization that I couldn't run from. No matter how hard I tried. I was falling in love with her. Deeply and thoroughly in love.

It felt like waves crashes into me over and over.

 _It felt like falling asleep._


	5. Home

**I enjoy writing this story so much. Every song gives me another chapter. This chapter is based off of "Taro" by Alt-J. I hope you like it. Enjoy ;).**

 _She was full of surprises._

It was a week before prom and I was dying on the inside. I knew exactly who I wanted to ask but I lacked the courage to do anything about it. All of the posters in the halls and announcements on the intercom taunted me endlessly. As Ashtan and I passed the ticket stand in the lunch room I pretended not to notice it. To no avail.

"Are you going to prom, Bella?" Her voice was perfectly steady. There was no hesitation just pure curiosity. I wondered for a moment if she even wanted to go and who she would take. My lovesick heart clenched.

"I don't know. No one has asked me yet so until then I guess not," I said. I tried to sound confident but my wavering voice betrayed me. Kicking myself mentally, I didn't dare look at her. She chuckled quietly.

"I've heard a lot of guys talking about asking you. You shouldn't beat yourself up about it," she said. Her hand patted my back in an attempt to comfort me but it failed. I felt my eyes water slightly as I fought the urge to ask her to go with me. These feelings made me weak and yet strong. Such a contradiction.

As we sat down with the Cullens, Ash sat beside me talking animatedly about prom. She talked about all her experiences in the past and the guys/girls that had asked her today. My fists clenched under the table and I looked anywhere but at them. As they laughed I seethed in jealousy. When I accidentally caught Jasper's eye, he looked at me curiously. I turned away immediately. I knew he felt my turmoil. I could only hope he would not tell her.

A tap on my shoulder gets my attention. Everything was silent making me wonder what the hell was happening. I had zoned out it seemed.

As I turned around I was met with Mike Newton smiling real big. I mentally growled in frustration.

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me," he said confidently. He seemed like he just knew I would say yes. I felt a surge of pity roll through me. He doesn't know how slim his chances are. _I'm already somebody else's._

"I'm sorry Mike, but I'm not interested," I said matter of factly. My brows shot up minutely at my confidence. This was quite new.

Mike looked constipated and his face turned bright red.

"Do you already have a date or something," he asked. I heard a slight rumbling beside me and I turned to see Ashtan gripping the table hard. She looked murderous. This caused my heart to warm. Maybe she's jealous. The thought of telling him yes came to my mind but I threw it out immediately. That would do no good.

"Yes, Mike. I will not be changing my mind," I said with finality. As I turned around I felt him get closer. Before I could say anything or even turn around, Ashtan was up out of her seat.

"Leave. Right now," she growled. Mike looked like he had seen a ghost. He sputtered something that sounded like an apology and scurried off like a hurt dog. I almost laughed.

When Ashtan sat back down she was breathing harder than normal and her eyes were inky. I laid my hand on her leg and rubbed it soothingly. She took it in hers and held it tightly.

 _Electricity._

"Damn, Ash. You almost took that guys head off," Emmett said in awe. He looked on the verge of laughter. "All for little Bella bear. How chivalrous." Ashtan looked like she wanted to jump over the table but I gripped her hand tighter. She blushed and ducked her head.

On the way to the Cullen's house the silence between us was deafening. Ashtan was smoking a cigarette and driving oddly slow in her huge truck. I would have assumed she was just having a bad day. When she turned of the music I knew something was totally off.

She never drove without music. **Never**.

"What the hell is wrong with you," I yelled. Her face screwed up and she took a another puff of her cigarette. She shook her head a little too frantically and kept her eyes on the road.

"I'm fine, Bella," she said quietly. Her right hand gripped the steering wheel tighter. I rolled my eyes and placed a hand on her shoulder. She tensed. She **never** did that.

It _stung_.

"Ash, you can tell me anything. You know that," I said in a whisper. I felt my eyes starting to sting. She looked at me finally and her face softened. As we turned into the Cullen's driveway she threw her finished cigarette out the window quickly and rolled it up.

"I can't tell you this. You'll have to see for yourself." My heart beat like a drum in my chest. So many possibilities ran through my head in the matter of a second. Maybe she was leaving or she had a girlfriend that had come back. So many horrible possibilities.

As we walked into the house, I decided that maybe I didn't want to know. This could only hurt me in the end. I pushed the thought away as we passed the threshold. I couldn't even manage to greet Esme like I normally did with a hug.

When we turned into the living room everything happened at once. All of the children popped out of nowhere, even Edward despite his sullen expression. Alice and Jasper had balloons and Emmett and Edward had confetti which they shot in our faces. Lastly, Rosalie came forward holding a gigantic poster with two tickets stapled to them. In big words it said, "Will you make my prom _bella_ , Bella?" It was corny and it was so Ashtan. Tears rolled down my cheeks like raindrops on a window as Ashtan wrapped an arm around me tightly.

"My beloved sister, would love to take you to prom. Despite our differences at first, I think you make Ashtan happier and happier every day. Alice and I would like to help you find a dress if you accept," Rosalie said with a small smile. I looked at all of their faces and their beautiful smiles. Alice looked ready to burst with joy. Even Edward now looked happy. When I turned to Ashtan she looked nervous. She thought I would say no. She obvious didn't see how bad I wanted her.

"I would be honored to go to prom with you, Ashtan Hale," I said through tears. Her smile took my breath away. As her family applauds, her arms wrap around me. They felt like a home I never knew I was looking for. My whole life I have felt out of place and yet she erases it all. Her and her family have made me feel welcomed.

She holds me tighter. And I am home.

 _Doors open like arms, my love._


	6. Apocalypse

**All the bold and _italicized_ words are song lyrics. The songs used in this chapter are: This is what you came for by Calvin Harris and Rih Rih. The Night We Met by Lord Huron. Enjoy;)**

 _She was earth, wind, and fire._

As we drove to prom my smile was beginning to make my cheeks ache. Ashtan looked handsome in her all black tuxedo. _Everything_ was black, even her tie. She nodded her head to the beat as we listened to her favorite song. Her curls fanned out as her head moved this way and that. I just watched quietly, wondering what I did to get this chance. So many others had asked her and yet she chose me. The new girl. The quiet, shy introvert. I could not say that I was all of those things anymore because she had changed me. She found the confident woman inside me and pulled her out with her strong hands. I felt invincible beside her. **Immortal**.

Ashtan helped me out of the Shelby with steady hands. The smile on her face mirroring my own in intensity.

"You are beautiful, Ms. Swan," she husked as we walked toward the entrance of the prom. My face was lit aflame. She complimented me before but never like this. If any other person would have said it I may have not believed them. But I knew Ashtan Hale. She never said anything she didn't mean.

A warm hand rested on my lower back as we stood for our pictures to be taken. I put my arm around her and smiled as the camera flashed. I felt like we were celebrities. Everyone was staring at us like we were the most interesting people in the world. I guess they never saw two girls going to prom together.

She confirmed my assumptions.

"They think you're gay now," she said into my ear. She sounded like she might laugh. She seemed to think that that was a ridiculous thought but she didn't know that I was. I'd come to terms with my sexuality the moment I realized I wanted her and no one else. It was scary and riveting. When it came down to it I didn't care what I was. I was just _her's_.

"I am," I said matter of factly. When I turned to see her face it was filled with shock. She coughed into her hand and smiled discreetly. I laughed at her antics heartily as we walked onto the dance floor.

"You could have had me fooled." Her voice was incredulous over the music. I just shrugged and as she pulled me through the crowd towards her siblings. They all looked stunning as always. I felt a tiny shred of self consciousness as I looked at Alice and Rosalie. Somehow Ashtan always knew how to reassure me without even knowing it.

"Beloved siblings, have you had the pleasure of seeing my beautiful prom date," she said dramatically. She stepped back and waved a hand in front of me and blushed deeply. They acted like they hadn't seen me even though I was just at their house earlier.

"Damn Bella, I didn't know you had curves like that," Emmett boomed. This earned him a smack on the head from Rose. We all laughed and chatted for a bit.

Suddenly, I noticed that Edward wasn't here. He hadn't been at his house either.

I felt bad for him. He didn't have to miss out on this experience just because of me.

"Where is Edward," I asked. I couldn't hear my voice but I knew they would hear me.

Ashtan looked saddened for a moment.

"He decided not to come," she said. There was no elaboration but I understood the hidden meaning. He didn't want to see us together. Sadness threatened to take over but I shook it away and decided it was time to dance. This was my first prom and I would enjoy it regardless.

I grabbed Ashtan's hand to get her attention.

"Let's dance," I said with a smirk. I couldn't dance and she knew this but I wanted to see her move. She beamed wide. If there was one thing she loved more than fighting or singing it was dancing.

Emmetts loud voice met my ears as we walked away.

"Show Belsy how it's done Ash!" We shook with laughter as we searched for a place to let loose.

 _Water._

This is the only way I could describe the way she moved. Her body moved to the music like she was apart of it. Those strong arms in the arm like she was reaching for the moon. Her hips rolling like the waves of the ocean. I watched as the people around her stared in awe. There might as well have been a spotlight on her. Though the lustful gazes of every teen bore into her she remained focused. Her eyes never left mine.

 ** _Everybody's watching her, but she's looking at you._**

I was supposed to be dancing but I couldn't move. A finger beacons me forward. Finally, my body moves on it's own.

 _ **Baby, this is what you came for.**_

Warm hands grip my hips and show me the way. Electricity courses through my veins. My body pulses with heat and desire.

 ** _Lightening strikes every time she moves._**

I relaxed into her touch and our bodies molded together perfectly. Chest to chest. Stomach to stomach. We moved like a tidal wave. Ashtan's head dips into my neck and her breath gives me goosebumps. I can feel those juicy lips tickling my skin deliciously. It's like sex. My fingertips caress the skin of her cheek. She is like the _earth_. I want to dig my fingers into her and plant myself there.

We barely notice the song ending until a slower one begins to play.

As we pull apart we are both breathless and heaving. A smile tugs at her lips causing my own. "Never say you can't dance again," she laughs. I blush and look around. Everyone is slow dancing. Some are even making out. Suddenly I am shaky. I am afraid that she will not want that with me.

Ashtan sees my nervousness and begins pulling me away from the dance floor. I am very confused. Even more confused when we go outside.

"Where are we going," I said. She just smiles and points to a pavilion with lights surrounding it. Surprisingly no one is out here.

Once underneath it she pulls me to her tightly. I startle slightly and then laugh out loud. My arms wrap around her neck as she twirls me around. She is very affectionate tonight.

"You wanted to get me all alone, I see." I can hear the smile in my voice. I've never smiled more than I have with her. I'm falling even harder.

Her thick lips stretch over those porcelain teeth.

 ** _I don't know what I'm supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you._**

"Being alone with you is way better than sharing your attention," she said quietly. Her face becomes somber. My heart beats faster as her eyes linger on my lips.

 ** _Take me back to the night we met._**

"If you don't want to share me all you have to do is say it," I said breathlessly. Her hands crept up and down my back sending shivers down my spine. It's like a _cool wind._

 ** _I had all and then most of you. Some and now none of you._**

 ** _Take me back to the night we met._**

Those black eyes that haunt my dreams close and she breathes shakily. Somehow I know she is nervous. It's like a bond that runs between us. When they open black waters have taken them over.

 ** _When your eyes were filled with tears, and you had not touched me yet._**

"I want you to be mine, Bella," she said. Her voice wavers with uncertainty. Teeth bite those lips nervously. I had waited for this day. I had dreamed and prayed. Hell, I even cried over it. Nothing could have prepared me for the moment. Warmth spread through me in waves making my eyes water.

 _I'm in love with you, Ashtan Hale._

"Ashtan Hale," I said shakily. A tear rolled lazily down my cheek and pressure built in my chest. Now was the time. "I have been yours since the moment I laid my eyes on you in the cafeteria. Since the moment you first spoke to me, I have been yours."

The look on her face would be forever seared into my memory. Joy was wrought in her expression. Those eyes that had seen horrors unimaginable and loves lost finally overflowed with tears.

 _This was the first time I would see Ashtan Hale cry._

"I have always been yours, Bella. There will never be anyone else," she whispered. Her hands came to my cheeks and caressed them gently. I closed my eyes as she leaned forward. My mind is calm in that moment. Flashes of our memories flash suddenly through my mind like the moment when you die. But they are all her.

 _Water. Strawberry lips. Electricity._

 **Fire.**

Her lips melded with mine like they were made for me. Heat and fury. Fire and brimstone. Neutron star collisions. Supernovae. All of these events played out behind my eyelids. This was the end of everything I thought I knew.

Her tongue felt like fire against my own. It destroyed and restored me. My knuckles turned white as my hands grasped her hair.

 ** _Take me back..to the night we met._**

Her lips upon mine was an _Apocalypse._

 _I would die a million times for her._


	7. Mine

**Love this story with a fiery passion. Enjoy;)**

 _She was irresistible._

Ashtan and I had begun dating after prom. I would not call it dating. It was so much more than that. She was more than a girlfriend. I hated the word. It's like when you call an ex your friend. It feels wrong because you know that the two of you shared more. Ashtan and I shared more. I didn't know just _how much_ until she dropped the bomb on me three months into our relationship.

She had showed up without telling me what was going on. One second I was on my computer listening to music and then I have my arms filled with my favorite person. I wasn't exactly complaining.

Her lips attached themselves to my neck and I moaned wantonly. It was her favorite part of me besides my stomach. I tried to convince her that she would like _other_ places even more, to no avail. She liked anticipation and the build up. She would tease me with crop tops and lingering touches. In school, she would place her hand on my thigh and inch it higher until I was bright red. She was torturous and unrelenting.

She was irresistible.

"Something must be up," I said breathlessly. Her lips smiled against my neck and she swirled her tongue on my pulse point.

My hands gripped her tight.

"Something has to be wrong for me to come see my fav woman?" She husked. I sunk my hands into her hair as her hand wandered my body.

"Just tell me damn it." She chuckled and was across the room in a second. Her body splayed on my body lazily. I huffed in frustration. She will be the death of me.

"Well, there's a few things I haven't told you and I think it's time." She didn't look nervous but she did look slightly worried. My heart sped up and she smiled reassuringly. "It's nothing bad, baby. They are important though. Are you ready?"

I took a deep, steadying breath. As long as it was not about them leaving or her breaking up with me I would have been fine. I nodded hesitantly and she began.

"Well, as you know, I'm a Werewolf. A Lycan. You haven't seen me completely change yet because I didn't want to harm you. It has happened while we've been together. Now that I've told you you can be there next time. In the beginning it is very painful. This is why I wasn't comfortable with you seeing it." I stared at her blankly. I knew she had to have experienced the change while we were together. I remembered full moons and wondering about her. Hearing strange howls coming from the woods. They called to me.

"I figured you had. I really want to be there next time," I said sincerely. I did want to be there. Even though seeing her in pain would hurt me, I wanted to comfort her.

Ashtan beamed at me and kissed me chastely. I would never get used to the fire that went through me when we kissed.

I smiled at her enthusiasm. She was very affectionate and I loved the feeling of being loved. She never made me feel anything less than beautiful, even on off days.

"Okay, the second thing. If I so much as scratch you or my teeth pierce your skin you will turn," she said. Her voice was deadly serious. I had never heard her like this when talking to me. "That is also one of the reason why we haven't...made love yet." She looked uncomfortable saying that. She cursed a lot and her mind had no filter. So, I know it hurt her to be PG. I couldn't help but laugh.

She scowled at me playfully. I sobered up and thought on her words. She was worried that she might turn me if we went too far. In the beginning, I had assumed she didn't want me. I had cried a few times until I finally told her. Ashtan had looked devastated that I could possibly think that. We made up through **a lot** of making out and cuddling.

"That makes sense, but do you expect me to stay human and die? While you continue living and being young. Am I dating an Edward mini-me" I ranted. Edward had made it clear how he felt about my humanity. Somehow he thought he had authority over my well-being. Ashtan never stated her opinion and let Edward say whatever he wanted. She said it didn't matter what he said and it was up to me. Had she changed her mind?

"Fuck no but becoming a Lycan is painful. It's years of pain at first. I just want your turning to be on your terms," she said evenly. Her voice was in check but I could see the creases in her forehead. She was angered by my comment about Edward.

My heart swelled at her response. I should have known that she would never make decisions for me.

"I'm sorry, baby," I said quietly. I hated seeing her angry. She was usually so happy.

She sighed and took my took with a small smile.

"It's alright. The third thing, is most important. Lycans and vampires have one thing in common. They have one soulmate that they find in their life. With vampires they know at first sight. Lycans know at through sight _and_ touch. That person is their everything and they can feel the other's emotions. It is hard for them to be apart for long. When their mate dies they are quick to follow." She looked me in the eyes as she said this. There was an intensity there that I made my heart stuttered.

I thought on this for a second. Was she trying to tell me something? Is she trying to say that I'm her mate or that I'm not?

My eyes began to water and she frowned deeply. Her hands came to my face as she stared me in the eyes.

"What's wrong? I'm trying to tell you that you're my mate and you're feeling devastated," she said quietly. My eyes widened. She could feel my emotions. Suddenly my eyes overflowed.

She is my mate. My soulmate. **The One.**

I had known, somewhere deep inside me. I knew that she was it for me. Doubt always clouded me because I never felt deserving.

"I.. I like mate better than girlfriend," I said through my tears. We laughed together for a little, just enjoying each other's presence. I felt the shock begin to wear off. The shock of being correct felt more like victory.

"So, you don't have a problem being stuck with me for eternity? A teenage werewolf with anxiety problems and the ability to make your worst dreams come true," she laughed. I smirked at her.

"You're mine and I expect you to make my most terrible _fantasies_ come true." Her eyes were black waters. I loved turning her on. I liked that predatory look that took over her face.

Suddenly she was straddling me. My arms were immobile above my head. As her nose ran up my neck I moaned quietly.

"Say it again. Say I'm yours," she growled. **Fire** rolled throughme. I wanted her so bad. The way her hips moved against me made it even worse.

"You're mine. All fucking mine." She snarled like a demon.

 _Forever._


	8. Update

**UPDATE:**

 **I will be continuing this story soon. Sorry for the long delay. I reread it and realized it was great xD. I apologize for keeping ya hangin.**


	9. Breathe

_She was my best friend first and foremost._

I watched her eyes flash dangerously as Jasper launched himself across the room at me. The room shook with the force of her roar as she tackled him through the opened door. It happened so fast that it almost seemed like I had imagined it.

The Cullen children, who had remained statues, were suddenly nowhere to be seen. Alice excused herself with a pained look. Rosalie and Emmett threw me sad glances before disappearing. Even Esme left, sitting apologies at my feet. Only Edward and Carlisle remained.

While Edward spewed _I told you so's_ and Carlisle tried to reassure me, I stared at the single drop of blood on the white carpet. The bane of my existence. The only reason I was still alive. The reason they would leave me behind.

I had never hated myself more than I did in that moment.

Ashtan was silent the entire way to my house. Her body was rigid as she drove. My entire being screamed at me to tell her everything would be fine. This was not a big deal. She had no need to act like this.

But, I would be lying.

She had every right to be angry. My feeble humanity was not compatible with her lifestyle nor her family's. I was a burden to them. They could never be themselves around me, lest I get injured and send one of them into a murderous rage.

Though she was the only one not interested in my blood, I would never ask her to abandon her family for me. Internally, I feared what her answer would be. I feared my response even more.

So, I remained silent. I resigned to my fate as she pulled into my driveway, cutting off my loud truck and just staring out my window without a word. Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at her face illuminated by moonlight.

I already missed her.

"Bella," she whispered, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. My eyes closed at her husky voice. Maybe this would be the last time I would hear it.

"Look at me, Bella."

When my eyes cracked open, she was right there, lips pulled into a painful smile. My lips trembled with emotion and the floodgates broke open. Here she is, the love of my life, my soulmate, about to leave me alone and aching forever.

"Please don't leave me. I...I couldn't go on if you left me. I swear I didn't mean to hurt myself. It wasn't Jasper's fault," I tried to convince her. I couldn't look her in the eyes.

Hot hands gripped my face and forced me to look up. She looked like she was on the verge of breaking in two. Like she was battling a war in her mind. Finally, a look of determination settled over her features and she spoke with vigor.

"Bella, I would never leave you."

And she did not.

However, I realized that her family wasn't on the same page.

The Cullens didn't show up to school the following Monday. Ashtan became more quiet and reserved. I noted that the usual light in her eyes dwindled when she didn't know I was looking. She never told me why they left, but I knew it in my soul.

I was a threat.

I could feel her depression with each passing day. She barely slept anymore. After a while we barely even spoke, we just sat in tense silence together. Neither of us wanted to say what was on our minds. After a while, I couldn't take it.

If I couldn't make her happy, I would have to set her free.

Even if it killed me.

"We're graduating soon. Where do you want to go? We can go anywhere you want," Ashtan murmured, caressing her strong fingers through my hair.

We were sprawled out in her meadow as the sun beat beat upon our skin. The flowers were in bloom, surrounding us in a purple cocoon. It was the most peaceful we had been since they left but the conversation we still hadn't had created underlying tension between us.

"Where did _they_ go?"

I wanted to sink into the ground when she flinched. Her fingers stopped dead in their tracks and her breathing ceased. I could imagine the pained look on her face that always sent a spike through my heart. I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"...The last time I spoke to them they were in Alaska with our cousins. There's no telling where they are now," she spoke like the words were being pulled out of her with barbed wire.

"You miss them," I whispered brokenly. I could feel her anguish through the bond. It suffocated me. Without warning, I stood up abruptly, ignoring her protests.

"I can't take this anymore, Ashtan. I've seen the way you act when I'm not looking. I can _feel_ how sad you are. I can't make you happy. You need to find your family. Your happiness is more important than mine," I ranted, feeling my heart break in two with each word.

"So if that means we can't be together..."

Ashtan's face contorted into a look of anger and she was wrapped around me in seconds. I tried to push her away from me, to no avail. I sobbed into her shirt with abandon. My nails dug into her back as if to keep her from running away.

"I am not leaving you. Do you understand me," she almost growled. I sobbed even harder and her arms tightened even more.

"I love my family, I do, but you are my family now too. My mate, the one I have waited over two centuries for. I **refuse** to leave because of an accident."

I pulled away just enough to see her face. I needed to see that she was telling the truth, though I already knew she was.

"But you miss them. I won't keep you away from them, Ashtan. At least go and see them. Maybe...maybe you can get them to come back," I reasoned. Ashtan looked away from me, expression skeptical.

"I don't know how I feel about them anymore. How could Carlisle listen to Edward over me? How could they agree to leave? If I decide to track them down, I don't know if I would ask them to come back," Ashtan vented, sadness and anger in her dark eyes.

I wanted to agree but I thought better of it. I took a step back from my own personal biases for her sake. Hearing her talk about her family in that way felt wrong.

"They're still your family. No matter what you disagree about. It hurt me, a lot, but I can see their point. I am a liability," I explained. Ashtan went to protest but I silenced her with a look.

I held her hands in mine and looked into her eyes meaningfully.

"Your family means everything to you. They mean the world to _me_ and I won't keep you from them. Go and find them. I'll be waiting for you when you come back."

Ashtan did not show it on her face but I saw the relief in her eyes. I felt it flood through our bond. I realized later that she had been afraid to ask me, in fear of my response. The realization hurt me to the core. I never wanted her to feel trapped in any way.

"I won't be gone long. I'll be back in a week tops." She said adamantly, her gaze filled with gratitude. I smiled, seeing that light that I loved begin to flicker back on in her eyes.

"Take your time. I'll always be here for you."

The next day, after many promises of her speedy return and kisses that lingered but didn't last as long as I wanted, I watched her disappear into the forest. Her fading image was burned into my mind well after she disappeared.

I waited there, feet planted and arms dangling lifelessly, for the pain to come. I waited for the ache that would tear me in two when I finally tucked myself in at night without her there. I waited to collapse under the weight of regret and end up calling her to beg her to come back.

It never came.

I was almost disappointed. In my naive mind, I thought that love was falling apart when your person was not there. Lying in bed unable to sleep, and waking up in fits with your lover's name at the tip of your tongue.

When one week blurred into the next without any sign of despair, I came to a beautiful realization.

Ashtan Hale was not just my lover. Ashtan Hale was my best friend. She was my confidant. A shoulder to lean on and a ear that would listen no matter how drab I could get. She was her own person. And me, my own. Both of us, coming together to help each other. Not to hold each other back.

Letting her go was like watching her walk down to the store to grab a drink. I missed, of course. But in my soul, I knew that she would come back. I trusted her that much. Even if she walked through the door years later, I would welcome her with a hug and a smile.

 _Hello, I've been waiting for you._

This was how true love felt. Normal. Content. Like I had fallen from the greatest height and plunged deep into the sea. Only to realize that Ashtan Hale was not the waves, nor the water that filled my lungs. She was right beside me.

With clarity, I realize I am not drowning.

 _I can breathe down here._


	10. You love me

_She didn't have to say it._

When Ashtan came back, it was without warning. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I had fallen asleep reading my favorite book. The summer air breezed through my windows. It pulled me into a sense of relaxation so deep that I never noticed myself falling under.

Suddenly, I awakened with a start. Looking around my dark room, I couldn't for the life of me find what had roused me from my slumber. I gave up and simply enjoyed the soft light of the moon seeping through my opened window.

The sudden creaking of my wooden floor had my head snapping toward the corner of the room.

My breathing stopped when I saw her sitting in my chair casually, simply watching me with the softest smile. I had almost forgotten how attracted to her I was. She was almost dream like. I wanted to pinch myself.

"Finally. I was beginning to think you were ignoring me," she chuckled quietly. The smile that split my face was almost painful.

"Never. Come here," I whispered, beckoning her forward.

When she laid down beside me, I spilled myself all over her like she'd never left. Our bodies fell together like two pieces of a puzzle. I laughed as her lips tickled my neck.

"I missed you so much," Ashtan sighed happily, hands unable to stop caressing me. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feeling of adoration that flowed from her to me.

However, my curious mind couldn't contain itself any longer.

"Did you find them?"

Ashtan stopped moving and sighed, looking away from me. I was immediately concerned. All of the possible reasons for her reaction ran through my mind in the few moments before she spoke. In an instant, I was worked up.

"Well...I found them in Canada," she began. Her lips curled into a smile, leaving me confused. "Alice saw me coming, of course, but thankfully she didn't warn them. Rosalie and Emmett were off getting married again but I called them after I spoke to the of my family."

I listened silently, my chin resting on her chest as she went into every detail of what happened.

Her conversation with the Cullens had begun with her thoroughly scolding them. After said scolding, she practically ordered them to pack their bags. Knowing Ashtan, I expected nothing less.

"Edward was the only one who refused to come back. I didn't understand before but now it's clear," she said wistfully. My brows shot up, thinking she suddenly held the same belief about my humanity.

"What I mean is...I think it's best for him to stay away."

"Why? I thought you and Edward were close," I said in confusion. She and Edward were fine before the inicident.

"We are, but he has feelings for you."

I nodded my head slowly, taking in this information. I already knew that. What I didn't know know was how Ashtan truly felt about this. I asked her what she thought about it.

"I can understand why he wants you. Hell, I want you too," she quipped, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes at her, but inside I felt warm.

"You know how I feel about you. I have no reason to be jealous. It's that simple."

Suddenly, I realized something that hadn't even crossed my mind.

Ashtan Hale had never, in one year of being together, told me that she loved me. Even more surprising, neither had I.

I had resigned to waiting for her to say it, but I had thought it so many times. I'd said it so loudly in my mind that maybe I tricked myself into thinking I'd told her, but no. It was not so.

That night, as she held me close to her without a care in the world, I felt the smallest inkling of insecurity wiggle it's way into my mind. So many questions were raised by a simple statement that seemed so insignificant at the time. Yet, it triggered something in me.

 _You know how I feel about you._

I pushed the thoughts out of my mind and decided to enjoy having her back with me. It was as if I had never even questioned her love for me at all. Everything was back to the way it was before she left.

However, when the Cullens came back my peaceful mindset flew out the window in the matter of seconds.

I watched her while Alice and Esme embraced me tightly. I watched her run to Rosalie with the brightest smile I've ever seen on her face. When Rosalie smiled back, it nearly blinded me.

I watched those strong arms wrap around the blonde's slender waist like they did my own. The image of them pressed together replayed over and over in my mind well after they separated.

I couldn't hear the apologies that echoed into my ear. My entire focus was on Ashtan and Rosalie Hale. I nodded at the words that bounced off my skin, all the while my eyes raked over how well they complemented each other.

Both of them, completely opposite but somehow perfect together.

In retrospect, I was not jealous.

I was insecure and hurt.

As I stood outside The Cullen's house on that summer night, I watched as the words rolled off her lips like the juice of a forbidden fruit. All for Rosalie Hale, who's perfect, red lips spread over porcelain teeth in a way I had yet to witness.

 _I love you._

My mind wasted no time in putting the invisible pieces together.

Ashtan and Rosalie had been together before. Ashtan still held feelings for her no matter how deep they may be buried. And lastly, I am no competition.

I knew my radical summations were ridiculous, but I couldn't stop the intrusive thoughts from racing through my mind. Rosalie had Emmett, a loving and amazing mate. Even still, I could barely look at her when she took me home that night.

I decided against asking her why she hadn't professed her undying love for me. Instead, I decided to watch her and document my findings like I did in the beginning. I wanted solid evidence of my hypothesis before I assumed anything.

Needless to say, I didn't find what I was looking for.

Ashtan treated Rosalie differently than everyone else, yes. But, everyone treated Rosalie different because she was...Rosalie. She treated her almost like a mother figure. Nothing at all like I expected.

"It sucks when your predictions don't come true... or does it," Alice whispered, an evil grin on her pixielike face.

I glared at her and turned my attention back to Ashtan and Rosalie bickering over what flowers to grow in the backyard. I was staring out of Alice's window creepily but I couldn't miss any type of interaction between them.

I noted the way Ashtan always looked at her with mirth in her eyes. It was like there was some joke that only they knew. I looked away with frustration boiling in my blood.

One entire month and I couldn't find anything. I couldn't understand her hesitation. I couldn't understand my own.

"Have you tried studying the way she is with you," Alice queried, breaking me from my concentration.

I looked at her in confusion before looking away. I hadn't thought of that. I was so sure there wasn't anything to look for. She didn't treat me badly. She never made me feel insecure. Not knowingly, at least.

"I wouldn't know what to look for," I sighed, plopping down on her bed. I felt so stupid for even feeling insecure about this. I knew I truly loved Ashtan Hale, but I wanted to know she loved me just as much.

"Whatever you were just looking for with her and Rose, that's what you look for," Alice said simply before winking and mouthing a countdown.

I jumped as Ashtan burst into the room holding an assortment of fresh fruit and vegetables for me. A smile tickled at my lips as she placed it on my lap and handed me my favorite drink, a homemade strawberry smoothy.

"It's feeding time for my favorite woman. Do you want anything else before I go? I'm not in the mood for _Dress Ashtan like Rosalie_ tonight," she said, finishing with an eye roll.

I simply pulled her down into a deep kiss. When I pulled away, I could tell she was confused but thoroughly pleased. I rolled my eyes when she wiggled her brows at me.

"That was for the food. Now get out, pervert."

I blushed as she pecked me on the lips and darted from the room with a quickness. Alice beamed at me the entire time. _I guess she really doesn't want to wear heels tonight, I mused._

"Did you write that down in your _Ashtan Hale Research Journal_? That is exactly what you look for. You just need to open your eyes."

And of course, Alice was right.

The moment I turned my attention onto Ashtan's feelings toward _me,_ I realized how ignorant and insecure I had been. It was as if I had been completely blind for the duration of our relationship.

It started with a simple morning wake up. But this time, I made sure to be mindful. Before, I had never noticed the way she would always wake me up with a full breakfast.

"Charlie had an early call from the station. It's nothing bad," she said distractedly as she slaved over the stove. I simply watched her in amusement as she danced to her favorite playlist.

"Oh and your bath is ready. Hurry up and get in before it gets cold."

I tried to contain my shock but Ashtan looked at me in confusion when I continued to stare at her. She chuckled quietly and pressed her hand to my forehead as if to check my temperature.

"You alright, Bella? You don't smell sick, except for the morning breath," she joked, wrinkling her nose. I shook myself out of my shock just to push her.

"Abuse! How dare you?"

After spending my entire bath raking my mind for any reason why I hadn't noticed our routine before, I slowly made my way back downstairs. Her heavenly voice flooded my ears with each step as she sang some vintage song I didn't know the name of.

Ashtan placed our food on the table and pecked my lips gently before digging in. I barely ate. It smelled immaculate but watching her was my job today. So far, what I was finding was promising.

She stopped mid-bite and raised a perfectly arched brow at me in a way that made me want to ruin Charlie's kitchen table.

"You're acting pretty weird today. What's the sitch?"

I pondered telling her the truth but it would sound creepy. _I'm watching your every move to see if you actually love me because I'm insecure and I still feel undeserving of you because you're amazing and I'm strange. P.s. you haven't assuaged my need for verbal affirmation._

"You're amazing," I blurted out like an idiot. My face flushed beet red as an amused expression came over her features.

I felt like this was our first date. I felt like a..(well I am)..a teenage girl.

"Well, somebody is feeling affectionate this morning. Were you hoping for some lady loving before work? I won't complain," she said huskily, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I laughed aloud but inside, I was contemplating it.

I looked at my watch and rolled my eyes. We wouldn't have enough time to do anything but cuddle and make out. I found that it wasn't that bad of an idea.

My fingers dug into her back as our lips caressed each other ever so gently. It was like playing with fire, the way she made me feel. The heat she caused to burn between my legs just by touching me was evidence enough.

Her hands slid beneath my shirt, caressing the skin of my stomach like it would break beneath her touch. There was nothing sexual about it. She just wanted to _feel_ me. Somehow, that made me want her more.

As my hands frantically worked at her jeans, she tsked me like a naughty child.

"No no no. You have to be at work in exactly fifteen minutes and you know we don't do quickies," she scolded, smirking evilly. I glared at her playfully as she jumped off the bed, her hips sashaying away from me deliciously.

"Fuck work," I growled quietly.

I threw my jacket on and grabbed my backpack, readying to walk out the door and get my shift over with. The only thing on my mind was getting back home to _show_ her exactly how much I loved her for a couple hours.

As soon as my hand touched the door knob, Ashtan stopped me with a clearing of her throat.

"I'll give you your kisses tonight, you fiend," I laughed, turning around.

I sighed heavily when I saw her holding up my car keys, glasses, and the store keys I would need to even get into the store. I leaned against the door and looked up at the ceiling. _I'm so dull._

She placed them in my hands, along with my favorite smoothy and kissed my lips chastely. As she made to move away, I called her name quietly and reveled in the confusion on her face. She didn't even know what she was doing. She just did it because it was instinct to her.

Right then, I knew the answer to the question I had been mulling over for so long.

"You love me," I said in a voice so confident and clear that I didn't recognize it. The words didn't feel scary but they were almost accusatory.

Ashtan's lips pulled back over her teeth almost triumphantly. Her hot hand reached up to caress my cheek affectionately and she placed her forehead on mine. Those black eyes didn't seem so black up close. They shined.

"It took you long enough to realize, weirdo," she chuckled quietly. I fell harder. "And it looks like I'm not alone."

As her lips melded with mine for the hundredth time, I felt like it was our very first time. Her words were just like her, full of meaning without being explicit. It was absolutely perfect because I found exactly what Alice had wanted me to see.

Ashtan Hale didn't have to say she loved me. She did something even better.

She showed me.

It was in the small things that nobody ever takes note of. The way she touched me. The way she complimented me jokingly everyday but always had that look of adoration in her eyes. The way she helped me in the smallest ways.

After I understood this simple fact, I understood how I fell in love with the enigma that is Ashtan Hale.

The only other questions that remained were...

 _How did I get so lucky?_

 _How long will this last?_


	11. Taken

_It turns out, our happiness would last just two more months._

 _If I had known...if I had known I don't know what I would've done..._

 _It began with a blood moon._

I grimaced as her bones began to reshape themselves grotesquely. She sighed quietly, now accustomed to the pain. After over three centuries, it was now a dull ache.

The moon above her shone a deep red color. It was almost hypnotizing to me but to Ashtan, it was enrapturing. Her eyes never left it as her entire body transformed from one majestic form to another.

When her brown skin was finally replaced by pitch black fur, she howled so loudly that I had to cover my ears. The sound shook the ground with its power and fury but I felt no fear. I had witnessed this many times. What did not expect, however, was a reply to her beastly call.

If Ashtan's howl was ground shaking, then this howl was earth shattering.

My eyes widened as she covered her ears with her massive hands, whimpering and stumbling. My heart nearly stopped at the sight of my powerful mate falling to the ground as if she had been beaten.

"What's wrong? What happened? Please get up," I sputtered, rushing to her side. I tried to shake her unmoving body, to no avail.

Another howl echoed through the dark forest, and she was off the ground so quickly that my human eyes didn't register any movement.

I'll always remember the look in her black eyes. They were full of fear and pleading. However, before I could find the strength to stand, she was gone. All she left behind were her paw prints in the damp mud and the echoe of a heartbreaking howl.

The Cullens came shortly after. They found me, still on my knees, staring at the spot where she once was in shock. Tears streamed down my face but I could not feel them.

How could she be there and then _not be there_?

They searched for her for weeks but after finding nothing, they all became fearful. They had heard the howls. They knew that they didn't come from the La Push pack but they couldn't think of a reason for her disappearance. They didn't even know where to start.

However, I could tell there was something they didn't want me to know.

Whatever it was, The Cullens were very, very afraid to tell me their theories on where my mate had gone and why she _had_ to go.

Over the next few months, I slowly stopped visiting the Cullens. I couldn't take seeing them anymore. They looked like ghosts. The atmosphere in their house was heavy with despair and grief. I just knew they assumed she was no longer living and I refused to believe that.

I could feel that she was still out there. Somewhere.

But because I was human and useless, I couldn't help find her.

I slowly began to retreat into myself. I couldn't stop imagining the worst possible reasons for her leaving. The worst possible outcomes if the Cullens ever found her.

That, mixed with the pain of being separated from her for so long took it's toll on me. I felt myself shutting down.

And the more and more I shut down, the more numb I became. After a while, I couldn't remember what day it was, nor the last time I had eaten. I just...didn't care.

All I could think about was Ashtan Hale. My mate, my best friend, my person. I thought a lot about how I couldn't do anything to save her from whatever stole her. And a what I would have told her if I had known it would be the last time I would see her.

After going so long with no good news from the Cullens, I let myself get lost in our memories.

Because that's all I had left of her.

 **-o0o-**

 _"What's your biggest dream, Bells," Ashtan asked me suddenly, eyes still glued to the massive book she was reading. I believe it was in French._

 _I closed my own book, brows pinching together. The question caught me off guard but this wasn't unusual._

 _There was always something she wanted to know about me. It could be something small, like my favorite animal, or something important like now. I loved that she always seemed like she was getting to know me. I felt the same way._

 _"I don't know. I've never really thought about it until now. I've always lived in the moment, I guess," I said, shrugging. Ashtan closed her book, nodding slowly._

 _However, the more I thought about it, I did know. The image of her and I being wed in front of the rest of her family came to mind. The image of us raising a beautiful child with her eyes came to mind._

 _I found that I hadn't wanted anything so much in my life._

 _"Nevermind, I figured it out," I said confidently, tossing my book on her night stand._

 _"Let's hear it," Ashtan chuckled, pulling me to her chest playfully._

 _I propped my head on her chest and felt her strong heart thump against my chin. As she pressed her warm lips to my forehead and nuzzled me, I knew that I was the luckiest human on Earth._

 _"Our future is my dream," I whispered, blushing a bright red._ _Ashtan peppered kisses over my flaming cheeks, causing me to laugh aloud._

 _"Great minds think alike."_

 _ **-o0o-**_

 _"Where were you born? You never told me," I asked distractedly as I braided her thick hair. Ashtan snorted and I could almost hear her eyes roll._

 _"I never told you because you never asked. I was born in what is now called Louisiana as Ashanti Fleur. The year was 1696," she said wistfully. I nodded, imagining what she would have sounded like with a Cajun accent._

 _"My mother, Celestè Fleur, nearly had me on the ship from Haiti to the new land but she held on to ensure my survival. The thing about it is, the only reason she allowed the slavers to take her was to escape her Alpha and the Volturi. Turns out, it didn't work out how she planned."_

 _I froze when I realized how dull I was. I forgot that people that looked like her hadn't been treated like humans until recently. However, at the mention of the Volturi, I became intrigued._

 _"Well, you see, the kings despise my kind. They especially hated my mother and her alpha. Bastien, was his name. Bastien wouldn't allow the Volturi to decimate the small population of purebred lycans, and so he ordered his pack to rape and turn as many women as possible. His logic was very flawed. Anyway, my mother happened to already be apart of his pack, thus I was created," she explained as if she had told this story a thousand times._

 _"But why were they chasing your mother," I asked, confused._

 _"The thing about purebred Lycans, Bella, is that the females tend to be infertile. The fact that my mother had me was a one in a million chance. Even with Bastien ordering mass rape, my mother had been the only to carry past the four month mark. This put a target on her head. The Volturi wanted to kill her, and Bastien and his pack wanted to capture her as a slave to carry on our species."_

 _I listened, enraptured and appalled by what she was telling me. I couldn't imagine what her mother had been through._

 _"She was a strong woman," I whispered quietly, overwhelmed with respect for a woman I had never known._

 _"Oh, she was. Still the strongest woman I've ever known," Ashtan said, sitting up straighter in front of me. "I strive to be half the woman she was, though I knew her for a short while.."_

 _"What happened to her?" I regretted asking her as soon as the words left my lips. Deep down, I didn't want to know._

 _Ashtan looked down then, eyes closing tightly as she fought through her emotions. Always the strong one._

 _"The Volturi found us but not before Bastien did. By that time, Mother had already become friends with a young Carlisle Cullen. When we went missing he sniffed us out. He risked his life to save us," She explained, eyes glazed over. I knew she wasn't here anymore. She was in a different time._

 _"In the end, my mother ordered Carlisle to take me and run far away. The Volturi were too close and if both of us were gone it would cause suspicion. She said she would tell Aro I had died when they decimated Bastien's pack and found her in the cellar. That I would be safe with Carlisle for the rest of my life... And that was the last time I saw her."_

 **-o0o-**

It was this last memory that shook me from the depths of my depression.

Maybe this Bastien had managed to escape the Volturi. Maybe he was the owner of that horrible howl that took my mate away from me. I grimaced in pain as the thought of what she could be going throug crossed my mind.

Before I could pick up my phone to call Alice, my phone was ringing. I answered it quickly, hoping there was a new development.

"Bella, I think you might be right. If Bastien did take her, that would mean he made her join his pack. That could be why she couldn't refuse the call," Alice said in a frantic voice. My mind began to reel immediately.

"What does this mean for Ashtan if she is apart of his pack? Can't she just leave? I don't understand," I asked, already knowing that it wasn't that easy. I just wanted some sort of hope. Anything.

"It isn't that easy, Bella. From what Carlisle has told us, Bastien is an ancient, purebred alpha. Ashtan may be powerful but Bastien is much older. A lone wolf like Ashtan would have no chance to refuse his call. We just have to hope that he hasn't found out who she is," Alice explained in a heartbroken voice. I felt like my heart was in a painful vise with each day she was away from me, but I knew her family was much worse.

"What can we do? We can't just let him have her," I said, suddenly furious.

There wasn't much I could do but I knew we couldn't just sit around. If it was me or any of her family, Ashtan would meet stop searching. I knew that for certain.

"I'm coming to pick you up right now. Carlisle has a plan that we believe could help us find her and get her back."

She didn't have to say any more, I was ready to go. If there was any chance at all that I could save her and have her safe with us again, I would stop at nothing to see it happen. Human or not, I would fight to get her back.

Even if it would mean the end of me.


	12. Night Life

When we arrived at the Cullen's home, I immediately noticed a change.

That air of despair was replaced with a sense of urgency and purpose. My chin lifted and my back straightened instantly. I was ready to finally do something.

"Now that everyone is here, we've gotten some information that should prove useful," Carlisle announced, almost restlessly. He wanted, most likely more than I, to have Ashtan back. His first child.

Rosalie and Emmett stepped forward then, and from the stern looks on their faces I knew what they had to say was important.

"Emmett and I took a little trip up to Seattle to see if we could find Garrett. We thought maybe he'd sniffed out a suspicious pack of Lycans, maybe even caught Ashtan's scent," Rosalie said before pausing. She looked me dead in the eye when she spoke again.

"And he's caught her scent."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. A sense of purpose and fierce determination came over me all at once.

"Garrett told us that a pack of lycans visit one of the bars in Seattle frequently. He caught Ashtan's scent among them. We need to get up there as soon as possible," Rosalie finished in a no nonsense tone.

She looked more like herself now that she knew where her sister was. I had no doubt that if it came to a fight, she would be in the vanguard.

"Are you suggesting that we go in there and steal her from her pack? We're vampires. They'll smell us from a mile away," Edward stepped in, bringing the mood down.

But he was right. If they stepped into that bar, there would be a massacre.

"That's where Bella comes into this plan," Alice said with a serious expression.

Every eye turned to me then. Instead of blushing and becoming a nervous mess like the old Bella would have. I stood up straight and steeled my resolve. I finally had a purpose and I would not fuck this up. My mate's safety and happiness were all that mattered now.

"I'm ready."

 **-o0o-**

I sat in front of Rosalie's vanity, lost in my mind. All I could think about was everything that could possibly go wrong when I walked into this club. I didn't even notice when my hair began to hit the floor.

"I can't see what's going to happen but I don't think we'll be able to get Ash back as soon as we want. You might have to infiltrate the pack. I'm not sure yet. But, if you're going to do this, you can't look out of place," Alice murmured, snipping and tossing my hair to and fro.

I didn't fuss as Alice pulled me into her closet and began to gather every black item off it's hanger. I was surprised to see that she even owned anything that wasn't pink or yellow.

"You look hot," Rosalie quipped when Alice was done torturing me. I scoffed but I had to agree.

I stared at my short blonde hair in awe. I'd never thought about dying it before. I actually suited my pale complexion.

I wore Ashtan's black leather jacket with one of her mesh crop tops, a pair of destroyed skinny jeans, and black converse. Alice had went so far as to painlessly install a nose ring for me as well.

I looked how I felt. Dark and dangerous. It made me feel confident. If Ashtan was here, I know she would be in awe. This was what I imagined she would be attracted to. Not the insecure teenage girl with no personal style that I used to be when she was here.

I was ready to bring my mate home.

"What are my orders again," I asked for the thousandth time as we pulled up to the bar.

"All you need to do is confirm that she is with this pack. If you can manage to talk to her, gain some information about what happened. Ask her if it was Bastien. Because if it was, we might not be able to take her without extreme retaliation. Either way, we will likely have a war on our hands," Carlisle explained. I nodded and steeled myself.

"Okay. Spot Ashtan and gain information if possible. Got it," I muttered, before stepping out of the car.

"Be careful, Bella. If something happens, scream. We'll all be here waiting," Alice called as I walked away. I was so ready to see my mate that I barely managed a reply.

As soon as I got to the door, the security decided to be difficult.

"Identification, please," the man grunted, arching a bushy eyebrow at me. I slipped into my character and rolled my eyes at him as I flashed my fake I.D.

"Read it and weep, big guy. Now can I go in and drink away my sorrows please? Thanks," I snarked, pushing past him without a backward glance.

As soon as I walked in, I felt out of place. People were laughing and drinking as I awkwardly waded through the crowd towards the bar. I just knew I was sticking out like a sore thumb, but maybe that was a good thing.

"I'm Dany. Welcome to my bar, newcomer," the bartender said reaching out her hand. I took it hesitantly.

"I'm Izzy, nice to meet you."

"You want a drink? You look like the whiskey type," Dany asked, smiling. As she placed the drink in front of me, I thought twice.

"No, thanks. I'm waiting for someone to show up before I start my night," I said distractedly. I couldn't see Ashtan anywhere but I knew she was here. The Cullens had smelled her.

"Who are you looking for? I might be able to help. I know a lot of people," she offered, leaning on the bar. I blinked as her cleavage became even more visible.

"Um, I'm looking for my date. She's brown skinned, about 5'9", athletic build with long, curly black hair. We were supposed to be meeting here tonight," I explained as discretely as possible.

An amused smile spread over her face. I became extremely confused when she began laughing aloud.

"I'm sorry. Hale is your date? How the hell did you manage to even get her to talk to you," Dany asked incredulously. I arched a brow at her suspiciously.

"What do you mean?"

"The girl doesn't fuck with anybody. She only talks to those freaks she hangs out with. She's weird...but hot."

"Sounds like she turned you down. Anyway, where can I find her? Is she here," I finally asked. I was becoming annoyed by her the more she talked.

She rolled her eyes at me and pointed to the back of the bar in a dark corner. I could just barely see a large group of people sitting at a large table.

"She came in about an hour ago with her creepy friends. They always chill over in vip. She usually comes over to get drinks, so just hang out here. They aren't fond of people wandering into their section."

I nodded distractedly, trying to catch a glimpse of Ashtan or Hale, as she was now known. It had been exactly six months since I last saw her in person. The pictures I had of her weren't enough to calm my aching heart. I just wanted to see that she was okay.

"Hey, beautiful. You wanna dance with me," a drunken voice said behind me. Before I could turn around, a large hand was wrapped around my arm.

"Ay, let her go. We don't manhandle ladies in here," Dany scolded.

The man didn't seem to hear her because he didn't let me go. I tried in vain to rip my arm out of his hand but I wasn't strong enough. Just as he was about to pull me onto the dance floor, my arm was free.

"Don't fucking touch me, bitch," the drunken man slurred angrily at my hero.

Because her back was to me, I could not see her. But, I would know that wild mane any where, even tied in a messy bun. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her but I refrained. It took more control than I thought I had.

"Walk away before I do something I don't want to do," Ashtan growled in a deadly calm voice.

A shiver ran up my at how dangerous she sounded. I had never heard her like this before. From the look in the man's eye, he felt the same way. In seconds, he was stumbling back onto the dance floor without a backward glance.

Ashtan turned toward me slowly, almost apprehensively. When I finally got a glimpse of her face, my stomach churned painfully at the sight.

Along the side of her jaw was a long, jagged scar that looked to have been caused by a knife. My eyes began to water but I held my tears back. She wasn't safe with me yet. She was still in danger. I had no time to cry.

What was worse was the look in her eyes. She looked haunted. Her eyes had been so bright and full of mirth before, but now they were completely black and dull. It was as if she didn't recognize me at all. I wanted to shake her as if to wake her up from a bad dream.

This was not the Ashtan I knew.

"What happened to you?"


	13. Amnesia

Ashtan arched one perfect eyebrow in question. Her expression screamed suspicion and distrust.

"Who wants to know," she sneered.

I felt as if ice water had been poured down my back. The love of my life was treating me like a stranger. For the life of me, I couldn't comprehend what would cause her to forget her own mate.

As I stood there dumbstruck, Ashtan rolled her eyes at me like she had a million times before. This time it wasn't in jest.

"Nobody, then? Cool. Try not to get manhandled again, kid."

She turned to walk away and my traitorous hand shot out to grab her. The look in her eyes immediately made me regret my lack of self control.

However, in my desperation to save my mate, I ignored her murderous glare. Those black eyes seemed to glint with something akin to pain.

"I'm Bella Swan. Does that name sound familiar at all to you," I asked frantically. In my mind, I was praying to the gods above that it did.

Ashtan's forehead creased in the way it always did when she was deep in thought. Those black eyes seemed to light up just a bit, giving me hope, but I was not so lucky.

Just as a spark of recognition came, it was gone.

"Nope. Now let me go before I take your arm," she growled, ripping herself away from me.

The ground swallowed me up as she walked away as if we were strangers. Darkness begged to envelope and I could only remind myself that she loved me once.

Once...she loved me.

 **-o0o-**

After those discouraging events took place, we came to the conclusion that it had to be Bastien.

Only a werewolf of his power could make Ashtan forget her bond mate.

Carlisle's theory was that the only way to make that occur was to use his Alpha will to break her's. In any other case, she would have fought to the death to make it home to me.

Because wolves mate for life, she had told me.

After another agonizing month went by without any action.

While the Cullens planned and called upon their allies, I remained locked away in my room.

Images of her vacant eyes haunted my every waking moment.

How I longed to take her in my arms and tell her everything will be okay. That I would rescue her like some pale, fragile knight riding in on a beat up ford truck.

But alas, I am only a frail human.

What could I really do?

One night, after dreaming about her arms wrapping around in that old familiar way only to wake up in cold sweats, I couldn't handle the pain any longer.

My heart, that had once been caressed by strong hands, was now being held in a vise grip. I could feel my mate calling out to me like always, but this time I could not refuse the call.

I drove for hours until reached the rundown bar on the edge of downtown in Seattle. Something told me she was here and that I needed to find her again.

As I stepped out of my car hands grabbed me roughly, pulling me away into a dark alley. I tried my hardest to scream but a hot hand covered my mouth. My heart thumped against my chest thunderously.

"Don't scream, I don't want to hurt you," a familiar voice whispered in my ear like dripping honey.

When I opened my eyes there she stood, gazing down at me with pain filled eyes. I wanted to pinch myself. Did she remember me?

"I thought...you forgot about me," I whispered, a sob bursting forward.

Tears fell from her eyes like rain on a window pain as she pressed hard, pain filled kisses on my face.

"Bastien tried, he did, but he could never make me forget you. If it weren't for his pack watching my every move, I would have run away with you immediately."

Her beautiful face, now scarred and filled with pain, split opened as she smiled at me for the first time in months. I drank in every aspect of her, forcing myself to remember what it looked like to see her happy.

"Tell me what we need to do to get you back to safety. Your family and all of your allies are ready for war," I stated fiercely, as if ready to fight myself.

"Bastien's army is at least a thousand strong. He is away that his hold on me is weak because I'm mated, but he thinks its holding for now. They will be coming after you. You're marked with my scent. I can't let them harm you."

The look in her eyes told me that there was more to her last words.

She grabbed my hands and stared deeply into my eyes. In that moment, I already knew what she had to say and I felt the same way.

"If we're going to win this war, you can't remain human."


End file.
